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Categories: Satire

4yo pulls head in, solves Markle family crisis and launches line of royal menswear

Just days after being caught on camera during the Platinum Jubilee acting like a 4-year-old and drawing attention to the parenting tactics of Kate Middleton, Prince Louis has ‘pulled his head in’,  solved a global crisis, brought pride back to the Royals, and despite all this, it seems the media aren’t satisfied with the Duchess of Cambridge. 

Despite the disability of being just 4-years-old, Prince Louis has been revealed as the peacebroker that saw auntie Meghan Markle make her first visit to the United Kingdom following her and husband William’s acrimonious resignation from the Royal Family. Yes – everyone can thank Louis and his masterful mediation skills for solving one of the most high profile family breakdowns the world has ever seen. 

Further slaying the nay-sayers that questioned Middleton’s credentials to raise the youngest of her three children, Louis has gone the extra mile by launching a range of menswear where all profits will be donated to ‘Feed Da Lads’ – one of the many charities that the Royal Family contribute towards eliminating child poverty. 

But even with all of this good work being done by Louis since he pulled his head in and stopped bringing shame on his lovely mother, some media commentators still aren’t satisfied with Middleton and her choice to let Louis act his age, or beyond. 

“If Miss Middleton thinks Louis leading peace negotiations and solving world hunger will deflect the spotlight from her terrible parenting, maybe she is the one who needs to pull her head in,” said Hugh Honey, editor of some online tabloid site that gets 17 hits a month. 

“Maybe if she wasn’t out galavanting at social gatherings every day, she might have resolved the situation with Meghan Markle and wouldn’t have to rely on Louis doing everything.

“Its effectively child slavery she’s got him working. I think she needs to take a real hard look at herself.” 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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