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Aussies now ‘dumbest population’ as Facebook news ban promotes utter tripe

  • In Satire
  • February 18, 2021
  • Elias Pivep
Aussies now ‘dumbest population’ as Facebook news ban promotes utter tripe

Where Facebook newsfeeds once contained vital information about global events and safety alerts, Aussies are now learning much more about celebrity lookalikes as Facebook’s latest censorship update for Australia blocks articles that Facebook deems as “news”.

The banning of news articles from reputable mastheads such as The Age and The Australian comes amid Australia’s media bargaining war where publishers are seeking financial return from Google and Facebook in exchange for content produced.

While Google came to the party earlier in the week and signed Letters of Understanding with major media publishers Seven West Media (ASX: SWM) and Nine Entertainment (ASX: NEC), Facebook has been less amicable at the negotiating table, leading to this strong-arm censorship approach.

Subsequently, it has resulted in tabloid content flooding Australian news feeds alongside poorly written fake news, like the article pictured above, which is generally authored by meth-addicted dropouts.

“This whole Facebook ban is great for me,” I said to a mate over the phone this morning.

“It gives me the exposure I need to really get my journalism career back on track by building an audience, since no paper wants to hire addicts any more.”

“Sir, are you the resident of your house? If so, I’d just like to tell you about the latest energy saving offers,” responded the gentleman on the other end of the line.

  • About
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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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