Taking no chances with the latest strain of COVID-19, Australia is set to be the first country in the world to raise its border to travelers arriving from Omicron Persei 8. 

Confirming the decision, Health Department representative Richard Handler empathised with Omicronians but stressed that the decision was made in the interest of all Australians. 

“We still don’t know enough about this new Omicron strain of COVID-19 so we’re taking precautionary measures to close our border to Omicron Persei 8,” said Handler. 

“We understand it will be a difficult holiday season for Omicronians with family in Australia but from what the data modeling suggests, our hotel quarantine programs are no match for the Omicronians that have historically shown a complete disregard for our authority figures.” 

Extending an olive branch in the spirit of maintaining interstellar relations, Australia has agreed to create a new season of Single Female Lawyer.