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Barley farmer wants a wife, threatens to not date Chinese women

  • In Satire
  • May 22, 2020
  • Elias Pivep
Barley farmer wants a wife, threatens to not date Chinese women

Amidst the trade tensions around Australian barley, farmer Hugh Honey has returned fire to China threatening to withhold affection towards their women until the 80% tariffs on his barley exports are lifted. 

Having failed in three attempts to feature on reality TV show The Farmer Wants a Wife, Honey has since turned to Tinder and internet dating to meet a potential wife to share his barley farm with. However, as long as China is applying tariffs to his barley, he has vowed not to date women of Chinese heritage but insists the concept is not racism. 

“I love Chinese women. If one was put in front of me, I’d slaughter a fresh bat and dine with her in the good barn,” said Honey. 

“But whilst they’re sticking tariffs on my barley, I’m sticking one on their women. 

“I’ll be more than happy to date one if it’s a 2-for-1 deal but otherwise I’ll be swiping left on them till my barley tariffs are lifted.”

The Sentiment considered requesting a comment in response to Honey’s tariff threat but had no idea who the f**k to contact for one. 

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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