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Bill Gates lined up for next season of The Bachelor

  • In Satire
  • May 7, 2021
  • Elias Pivep
Bill Gates lined up for next season of The Bachelor

Shares in The Walt Disney Corporation (NYSE: DIS) are being watched closely with rumours swirling of efforts being made by the Company to secure Bill Gates for next season’s edition of The Bachelor.

The news comes just days after Gates and wife Melinda confirmed the two have mutually agreed to part ways which will see their USD $130 billion empire divided.

On their game, network executives at ABC (which is owned by Disney) have quickly identified the marketability of Gates on their hit series and the insane amount of advertising revenue that could be generated by securing the Microsoft founder for next season’s renewal.

Former network executive Hugh Honey raised key points after tweeting of his approval to the concept of girls swooning over Gates.

“Let’s be honest. Bill could rock up on set in his pajamas and treat the contestants like trash and they would laugh it off, think he’s hilarious and offer to do things to him that you and I could only dream of being offered to us,” said Honey.

“Not only would that attract the show’s millennial audience, the older generation would tune in while the corporate sector would also be jumping out of trees to involve themselves with the show.

“It would deadset be the greatest TV show that mixes so many different audiences together, albeit there’s no way Bill would be the badboy we’d ask him to be.”

Upon request for comment from the Gates family, a representative requested the numbers and profile pics of prospective contestants but could not confirm they would be passed on to Mr Gates.

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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