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Bored punter turns to ASX penny stocks amidst coronavirus sports shutdowns

  • In Satire
  • April 17, 2020
  • Elias Pivep
Bored punter turns to ASX penny stocks amidst coronavirus sports shutdowns

Where his weeks would normally involve absurd multi bets on various unknown domestic sporting leagues, self-dubbed professional punter Hugh Honey has turned to penny stocks on the ASX, bringing crucial knowledge from his sports punting to the sharemarket. 

Previously specialising in Under 18 European Tennis, where Honey boasts an eye for talent, the shrewd investor sees many similarities behind speculative penny stocks and junior tennis players hailing from Europe. 

“It’s easy to find the good kids because when one comes through, there is a lot of rumble about them on social media and Russian chat rooms. When lots of people are talking about them at that age, they almost always win,” said Honey. 

“I found this similar chat room site called HotCopper where people seem very loud and passionate about individual stocks.

“Using the same strategy, I just find the stocks with the most aggressive posters and buy them. 

“It’s like following the money of those in the know because no one would waste their time posting the same aggressive messages over and over unless they knew something the rest of the market doesn’t.”

Although Honey was unable to recall what any of the companies he has invested actually do, he was adamant that they were “going to the moon 🚀”. 

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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