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Atlassian boss shops for new HQ as tech giant implements ‘Team Anywhere’ policy
With Aussie tech unicorn Atlassian set to adopt its new “Team Anywhere” policy, shareholders are praising the Company for prudent savings they will realise upon the downgrading of headquarters. Still in need of a postal address however, its visionary founder was spotted perusing some ‘interesting’ options for the post-COVID HQ. Under its new “Team Anywhere”
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Multinationals axe social responsibilities with launch of European Super Exchange
Sensing the commercial appeal of soccer’s European Super League, some of the world’s largest multinational corporations are set to announce their involvement in the European Super Exchange where corporate regulation will be eased to maximise corporate profits. Under the proposed European Super Exchange (ESE) model, business practices shunned upon by national regulators are tipped to
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Meghan Markle blames bad Zoom connection for not attending Prince Phillip’s funeral
Despite the supposed influence Meghan Markle possesses, shares in tech company Zoom (NASDAQ: ZM) remained unfazed after she blamed the video meeting tech as a reason for not attending Prince Phillip’s funeral. Markle’s initial reason for not accompanying her husband to the funeral was the fact she is 6-months pregnant and a flight to London
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Investor loads up on aspirin in response to COVID vaccine side effects
Amid news of the COVID-19 vaccine leading to blood clotting as a side effect among recipients, investor Hugh Honey has identified an investment opportunity whereby he has emptied the shelves of supermarkets and pharmacies across the country, hoarding all the aspirin he can get his hands on. Honey, a long time aspirin user, drew upon
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Digger operator requests pay rise for solving international crisis
Having been given the monumental task of freeing the Evergreen cargo chip that has blocked the Suez Canal, Hugh Honey’s request for a small pay rise has been met with firm rejection. The request comes amid Honey being the sole operator of a tiny excavator doing its best to remove sand from the canal’s bank,
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Christian Porter eats raw garlic whole, praises local growers
When unsure how to answer a question, pledge your support to local farmers. It’s a tried and true political strategy within the Liberal Party drawn upon this afternoon as Christian Porter identified garlic as his snack of choice in the middle of a press conference. Journalists were left flummoxed half way through his media appearance
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