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Old timer utterly confused by MCG hipster menu responsible for 40 minute queues
“One plant-based hamburger with a side of fried kale and kimchi, please.” This is how straightforward ordering food at the MCG was expected to be when Red Rooster and Domino’s were kicked out and an artisanal selection of fast food was introduced. Utter confusion ensued throughout Round 1 however, as MCG decision makers grossly overestimated
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Thrifty mother solves gas crisis, son to walk 10km to school
With petrol prices at record highs, families have been forced to tighten their budgets to the point where Martina Martinez must choose between a tank of petrol or her monthly manicure. Ultimately an easy decision, she has convinced son Morton that he’ll help save the planet by walking 10km to school rather than the normal
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McRooskis to launch new 4 Ouncer burger amid Russian fast food crisis
With a global conflict raging, fear and hysteria have now swept across Russia with scenes of panic buying and looting gripping the nation which has prompted domestic burger chain McRooskis to launch a new 4 ounce burger. Sceptics have questioned the similarity to McDonalds’ Quarter Pounder burger which caused a national crisis on Wednesday amid
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Call of Duty gamer reckons he can end the Ukraine war
Spending countless hours in his mother’s basement playing Xbox throughout the night, Hugh Honey knew his calling in life would eventually come, insisting that he can convert his gaming prowess into reality and end the Russia-Ukraine war if given the chance. For days, Honey has been dominating online tournaments, all the while trash talking his
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Idiot mate insists Wordle is overrated after questioning wtf ‘tacit’ means
Despite word puzzle game Wordle taking the world by storm, high school dropout Vic Vinegar thinks the world is fawning over this stupid game unnecessarily , dismissing it as nothing more than a flavour of the month. The outburst comes in the footy team group chat where Vinegar’s mates are quick to post their daily
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Former high school athlete agrees to defect to China on $100m sponsorship deal
Fresh off the Winter Olympics triumph of Eileen Gu who shone a light on the possibilities of budding female athletes around China, fellow half-Asian Hu Honey has confirmed that he too will follow a similar path to represent China on the global sporting stage. The decision to turn his back on Australia, his country of
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