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Categories: Satire

Digger operator requests pay rise for solving international crisis

Having been given the monumental task of freeing the Evergreen cargo chip that has blocked the Suez Canal, Hugh Honey’s request for a small pay rise has been met with firm rejection. 

The request comes amid Honey being the sole operator of a tiny excavator doing its best to remove sand from the canal’s bank, enabling the Evergreen to free itself. With standard 9am – 5pm hours, Honey has offered to work additional hours to free the ship, however his employer, Paddy’s Digger Service has requested he free the ship within his standard working hours instead. 

Despite the scope of the task and Honey’s tireless efforts, he has continued to knock off at 5pm each day while the abundance of ships continues to build on both sides of the blockage. 

“When you think about how important my work is, you would have thought that time was of the essence,” said Honey. 

“I just asked for some overtime pay and dinner but the boss wasn’t keen so I’ll just keep plugging away one bucket of sand at a time.” 

International trade continues to stall while cargo ships from both sides of the equator line up awaiting Honey to arrive for work each morning.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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