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Categories: Satire

Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents

The idealism of gifting presents turned into chore-ism over the years for Melbourne man Hugh Honey who, tight on cash this year, decided to save everyone the hassle of throwing out unwanted presents by simply not buying them. 

From candles for cousins that have live with electricity access, to chocolate for overweight uncles – it turns out that not buying Christmas presents is actually a win-win for all involved. 

Honey ultimately saved $2,000 that he can put towards a holiday for his family, while extending his uncle’s life expectancy by a year, and reduced everyone’s carbon footprint.

“It’s so simple, I can’t believe no one has ever thought of having Christmas without presents,” said Honey. 

“All that extra money can now actually be spent for good, rather than on tokenistic gifts that are appreciated for a few seconds with feigned smiles, and then never thought of again.” 

Amazed by the success of his newfound appreciation for gift-less Christmas, Honey committed to re-gifting all the presents he received this week and chose not to open. 

“It’s great that someone else can appreciate this coffee cup next year because it’s not like people fill their cupboards with a suitable amount of coffee cups.” 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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