Category Specific RSS

Categories: Satire

Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents

The idealism of gifting presents turned into chore-ism over the years for Melbourne man Hugh Honey who, tight on cash this year, decided to save everyone the hassle of throwing out unwanted presents by simply not buying them. 

From candles for cousins that have live with electricity access, to chocolate for overweight uncles – it turns out that not buying Christmas presents is actually a win-win for all involved. 

Honey ultimately saved $2,000 that he can put towards a holiday for his family, while extending his uncle’s life expectancy by a year, and reduced everyone’s carbon footprint.

“It’s so simple, I can’t believe no one has ever thought of having Christmas without presents,” said Honey. 

“All that extra money can now actually be spent for good, rather than on tokenistic gifts that are appreciated for a few seconds with feigned smiles, and then never thought of again.” 

Amazed by the success of his newfound appreciation for gift-less Christmas, Honey committed to re-gifting all the presents he received this week and chose not to open. 

“It’s great that someone else can appreciate this coffee cup next year because it’s not like people fill their cupboards with a suitable amount of coffee cups.” 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

Refurbished tech pivot gathers momentum as Harris Technology’s margins expand and cash flow turns positive

After several challenging years for Australian retailers grappling with cost-of-living pressures and post-COVID inflation, eCommerce…

3 days ago

Semtech and EMASS Bring Intelligence to the Edge as AI Meets Long-Range IoT

Australia’s industrial and IoT sectors are racing toward smarter, more autonomous sensing and one of…

2 months ago

Control Bionics Moves to Fully Acquire NeuroBounce Program as EMG-Based Performance Tech Gains Momentum

As interest in neuromuscular activation tools accelerates across elite sport, Control Bionics Limited (ASX:CBL) is…

2 months ago

SKS Technologies Moves to Expand NSW Footprint With Delta Elcom Acquisition

Australia’s data-centre construction sector continues to surge on the back of cloud adoption, AI-driven computing…

2 months ago

Monash University Partners with HITIQ to Advance Concussion Science Using Smart Mouthguards

A major Australian research initiative is set to push forward global understanding of brain injury,…

3 months ago

Harris Technology targets return to profitability amid surging Refurbished Tech sales and Apple expansion

Following a successful FY25 which saw a boost in gross profit after launching its refurbished…

3 months ago