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Former high school athlete agrees to defect to China on $100m sponsorship deal

  • In Satire
  • February 14, 2022
  • Elias Pivep
Former high school athlete agrees to defect to China on $100m sponsorship deal

Fresh off the Winter Olympics triumph of Eileen Gu who shone a light on the possibilities of budding female athletes around China, fellow half-Asian Hu Honey has confirmed that he too will follow a similar path to represent China on the global sporting stage. 

The decision to turn his back on Australia, his country of birth, to represent China comes as he agreed it was time to step up to the plate and elevate Chinese cricket onto the world stage. 

“In high school, my nickname was Four-Twenty because it was the code word to bring me into the bowling attack,” said Honey. 

“Some people thought it was because I bowled pies but I tore through the 3rd division with flight and regularly deceived batsmen who played for the spin, all to be rattled by the one that went straight on. 

“I also loved a good hot box session so it’s fair to say there’s a lot you can do around my marketability with a nickname like Four-Twenty in China.” 

Born to an Australian mother with a Chinese father, Honey has the option to represent either his country of birth or China, through his father’s lineage. 

Following the huge success of Eileen Gu’s similar defection, Honey has agreed to represent China at the upcoming T20 World Cup where he intends to replicate Gu’s success, which he anticipates will include a $100m sponsorship deal to be the face of pie company Four’n Twenty in China. 

China has not agreed.  

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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