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Fully clothed soccer mum baffled by her lack of OnlyFans subscribers

As an elite stay at home mum whose cookies are the envy of the Parent-Teachers Association, Martina Martinez drew on her entrepreneurial spirit by starting an OnlyFans account, posting photos of her cookies. 

Much to her surprise however, paying subscribers to her channel have been few and far between with Martinez confused as to why she’s not making any money, despite everyone telling her how pretty her cookies looked, and how tasty they were. 

“I was browsing the mothers groups and saw a recently divorced lady had made a bunch of money posting photos of her in her beautiful house. I figured my cookies would be much more popular than her taking selfies in her home,” said Martinez. 

“She had quickly gathered thousands of subscribers but I’ve baked a batch of cookies every day and then posted a photo of them but I only have one subscriber and they messaged me about making the wrong type of cookies.” 

Since offering wholesome videos of her baking the cookies, Martinez has secured two more subscribers.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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