Category Specific RSS

Categories: Satire

“In this economy?” Next Warren Buffett experiences first bearish day

Following another dubious tweet from President Trump which saw global markets fall by 2%, some investors felt the brute force of a potential breakdown in U.S-China diplomacy. 

For investor Hugh Honey, it was tough logging onto his CommSec app whilst having breakfast with the lads at the neighbourhood cafe and seeing his watchlist. 

“Seeing everything in the red, I felt sick and lost my appetite,” Honey told The Sentiment

“I’ve been doing lots of research about the sharemarket and bought my first stock the other day. I now totally get why guys on Wall Street jump off bridges.” 

Electing not to finish his breakfast, Honey was queried by friends about his mood change before solemnly responding “the market” with his head in his hands. 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

Stakk Secures T-Mobile Contract to Power Super App Expansion

Australian fintech Stakk (ASX:SKK) has signed a three-year agreement with U.S. telecommunications giant T-Mobile USA,…

6 days ago

Medibank Backs Emyria with Landmark Depression Care Deal

Australia’s mental health burden is growing – and one of the toughest challenges is treatment-resistant…

2 weeks ago

NoviqTech Launches Quantum Intelligence Products, Opening Path to Enterprise-Grade Quantum AI

NoviqTech Limited (ASX:NVQ) has taken a decisive step into the quantum computing market, unveiling the…

2 weeks ago

BRE Wins Final Permit to Advance Rare Earth Pilot Plant in Brazil

Brazilian Rare Earths Limited (ASX:BRE) has cleared its last regulatory hurdle to begin pilot operations…

1 month ago

Harris Technology eyes profitability as refurbished tech sales surge

In an era of rising living costs and shifting consumer priorities, one Australian company is…

1 month ago

QIC Fund Backs Ark Mines with $4.5m to Accelerate Sandy Mitchell Development

Queensland’s push to strengthen its critical minerals supply chain has taken another step forward, with…

1 month ago