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McRooskis to launch new 4 Ouncer burger amid Russian fast food crisis

  • In Satire
  • March 11, 2022
  • Elias Pivep
McRooskis to launch new 4 Ouncer burger amid Russian fast food crisis

With a global conflict raging, fear and hysteria have now swept across Russia with scenes of panic buying and looting gripping the nation which has prompted domestic burger chain McRooskis to launch a new 4 ounce burger. 

Sceptics have questioned the similarity to McDonalds’ Quarter Pounder burger which caused a national crisis on Wednesday amid news that the American fast food chain was cutting off supply to Russia. While much of the nation remained unfazed by the invasion of Ukraine, this move sent the country into a frenzy as it appeared to be the first sanction that actually mattered to the population. 

Witnessing the violence erupting over the final Quarter Pounders available across the Soviet State, burger enthusiast Hugh Honey has been quick to launch burger restaurant McRooskis which features a flagship 4 Ouncer burger. 

“All this bloodshed and tears, it’s heartbreaking. All we want is delicious fast food and yet global leaders continue to do their own thing without thinking about the people their actions are affecting,” said Honey. 

Featuring a 4 ounce beef patty, ketchup, mustard, cheese, pickles, and onions, Honey insists his burger was an original creation and definitely not a knock off of any existing burger in the market. 

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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