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New Year Resolution: Mate vows to stop giving trash stock tips

For investor Hugh Honey, 2021 will be a year of transformation as he plans to win back the respect of those around him through his New Year Resolution to stop declaring stock tips that send his mates deep into the red. 

In doing so, Honey has bought a new phone which does not enable him to stack 🚀s into every message he posts in the group chat while also committing to actually doing research on companies rather than spread rumours he sees in Facebook. 

“It was a tough 2020 for everyone but with this resolution, I am confident I can win back the trust of my friends and family,” said Honey. 

“I promise to stop believing everything I see on social media and ASX forums and I am going to commit to actually understanding what companies do rather than just invest in company names and how many rocket ships people post next to stocks they’re spruiking.” 

Honey has already suggested various stocks on the group chat without the use of his favoured emoji but insists they will 🌕.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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