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Once-savvy Victorian declares AaaS business bankrupt

  • In Satire
  • July 10, 2020
  • Elias Pivep
Once-savvy Victorian declares AaaS business bankrupt

As Australia condemns Victoria for their guest-bonking hotel security staff, Hugh Honey has learnt the hard way that no one wants to be looked at as ‘that guy’ from Victoria. 

Just one week after launching his Address-as-a-Service business to assist Victorians residing in suburban hotspots to avoid lockdown, Honey has declared the business bankrupt. 

Core to the financial hemorrhaging was the insane amount of money he spent on geo-targeted advertising in hotspot suburbs. Learning the costly way, it quickly turned out that no one in their right mind wanted to change their residency from one Melbourne address to another after Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews put the entire metropolitan Melbourne region into lockdown for six weeks. 

Despite AaaS joining the extensive list of failed business ventures undertaken by Honey, he remains pragmatic that his next one will be a surefire winner. 

“Having the guts to try something new and innovative is half the battle,” he said. 

“People will have no issue knocking you down, and letting you know when you’ve failed but those are just the hacks that don’t have the guts to try anything on their own.

“It’s incredible how many people will rush to praise you when it works though. 

“I hope to experience that one day.”

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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