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Punter insists he is winning every weekend on the punt, despite coming home empty handed

With the Winter racing carnival coming to a close, Imogen Ignorette is disappointed that her husband will be back at home on weekends.

Beyond getting Saturdays to herself from March through to June for the Sydney Autumn and Brisbane Winter racing carnivals, the household income is set to fall dramatically with husband Ivan no longer punting at the pub on Saturdays.

“He loses about $200 every Saturday but insists he actually won,” said Mrs Ignorette.

“Three months ago, we refinanced our mortgage so that Ivan could purchase some TabCorp stock.

“Now when he loses on the punt, we’re just breaking even because we’re losing the money to ourselves.”

TabCorp Holdings last paid a dividend of 11cps, a yield of 4.6%.

Mr and Mrs Ignorette await the next one.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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