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Retail employee gets wasted from hand sanitiser to prove alcohol content

  • In Satire
  • July 17, 2020
  • Elias Pivep
Retail employee gets wasted from hand sanitiser to prove alcohol content

With foot traffic having dried up through shopping centres, Mosaic Brands (ASX: MOZ) employees have stuck firm by their employer which has withdrawn the sale of hand sanitiser products identified to have just 23% alcohol content when the standard is at least 60%.

Despite group consumer group Choice identifying the low alcohol content, Mosaic stands by its testing which confirmed “the alcohol content … is within the range to eliminate 99.8% of germs”.

Although they stand by their Air Clean Instant Hand Sanitiser, the Company has withdrawn the product from their retail stores where passionate employees have been consuming the hand sanitiser to prove the alcohol content. Just to be safe.

“I was walking past a store the other day and their staff looked so zoned out, disinterested and uncoordinated,” said customer Martina Martinez.

“From their lack of attention, I have no doubt that there is enough alcohol in that hand sanitiser.”

Irrespective of the sanitiser debacle, Martinez was happy to continue shopping at Mosaic brands Noni-B and Katies, impressed by their loyal employees willing to go the extra mile in solidarity with their employer.

The World Health Organization standard requires at least 80% ethanol or 75% isopropyl alcohol, but no mention of testing alcohol prevalence through consumption.

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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