With Melbourne rocked by political riots and an earthquake in the same week, Morwell resident Hugh Honey has been quick to remind everyone how smart he is for having an insurance policy in place that protects his home in the event of damage from both rare events.
Despite Morwell being 150km east of Melbourne where current anti-lockdown protests are taking place, Honey is quietly confident in his decision to have purchased the coverage, knowing riots could erupt any time in the town of Morwell.
“There’s a lot of bad stuff that goes down here in Morwell so it pays to be cautious,” said Honey.
“Watching the events in Melbourne has vindicated my decision to have the coverage because we’ve been locked down at times here too, so if they’re protesting in Melbourne, I can see it happening here.”
While Honey was unclear in his reference to ‘bad stuff’ in Morwell, riots would more likely stem from the town’s seedy underbelly where the town is known socially for the common presence of methamphetamine. Given the instability that can be caused by disruptions to its supply to Morwell, Honey’s rationale may be more sound than first thought.
Of greater pride was Honey’s surprising insurance policy where he is the only resident to own earthquake insurance.
“Let’s be honest, if something bad is going to happen in Victoria, it’s probably going to happen in Morwell. I don’t think there would be much outcry if Morwell was wiped out so I’ve bought insurance on every possible disaster event knowing that God does not give a f**k about Morwell.”
Beyond earthquake insurance, Honey’s home is insured for damage caused by volcanic eruption, landslides, blizzards, avalanches and tropical storms.
Since moving to Morwell in 1995 when purchasing his home for $35,000, Honey was pleased to show his current insurance bill for all of these natural disaster events to come to just $7,500 per annum.
Accounting for the lower rates in line with his home’s lower valuation in the 90s, Honey has spent approximately $120,000 on home insurance over the past 25 years. With the booming property market, his piece of crap in Morwell is now valued at $100,000.
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
- Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
- Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
- World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.