Category Specific RSS

Categories: Satire

Sydney office worker claims ‘week of mourning’ not related to AFL Grand Final

While he may be a diehard Sydney Swans fan, Hugh Honey will not be enjoying the festivities linked to his team making the AFL Grand Final, instead telling management that he is so upset by the passing of Queen Elizabeth II that he needs some additional bereavement leave. 

Although bereavement leave is typically only claimable for death of immediate family members, Honey insists that he cannot possibly function at work while he deals with the loss of his Queen. 

Given the Queen’s 70-year reign, Honey’s management team have never dealt with such a request and had no choice to approve the additional 4 days off, on top of the National Day of Mourning public holiday. 

“I’m not really sure why it hit him so hard, but he called me on Saturday night in tears,” said Honey’s manager. 

“He insisted that he’d need the week off, and wasn’t in an emotional state to come into the office, or even work from home because he needed to attend some sort of mourning event in Melbourne.” 

“I know he loves his Swans so it’s just a shame he won’t get to enjoy the Grand Final festivities while he is mourning.” 

Honey was later spotted purchasing tickets to the AFL Grand Final Breakfast, held on Saturday morning. 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

Monash University Partners with HITIQ to Advance Concussion Science Using Smart Mouthguards

A major Australian research initiative is set to push forward global understanding of brain injury,…

20 hours ago

Harris Technology targets return to profitability amid surging Refurbished Tech sales and Apple expansion

Following a successful FY25 which saw a boost in gross profit after launching its refurbished…

1 week ago

Pivotal Metals Secures $5.4M to Fast-Track Quebec Drill Program

Pivotal Metals (ASX:PVT) has locked in $5.4 million in fresh funding to accelerate exploration across…

2 weeks ago

Biotron Expands into Anaesthetics with Sedarex Acquisition and $2.5m Raise

Biotech company Biotron Limited (ASX:BIT) has announced a bold step into the anaesthetics sector, acquiring…

3 weeks ago

DroneShield Boosts Defence Capability with $13 Million Adelaide R&D Investment

DroneShield (ASX:DRO) is expanding its Australian footprint with a $13 million investment to establish a…

1 month ago

Stakk Secures T-Mobile Contract to Power Super App Expansion

Australian fintech Stakk (ASX:SKK) has signed a three-year agreement with U.S. telecommunications giant T-Mobile USA,…

1 month ago