With Australians glued to coverage of the Tokyo 2020 Olympics which are conveniently timed for gold medal swimming events held around lunchtime each day, the mighty victories of our swim team have united a nation. But not all have been as impressed by our efforts in the pool with one certain manager disappointed that their team is being distracted by the Olympic Games. 

Marketing coordinator Martina Martinez is one who has been forced to live stream Australia’s heroic performances on her laptop after her manager shut off the office televisions, declaring to the whole floor, “This is not a sports bar!” 

“Mr Neslon has been gunning for a promotion for the past few years and he probably thinks this highlights his commitment to productivity but it just comes off as un-Australian,” said Martinez. 

“He doesn’t really understand swimming, or sports in general, so this is his way of promoting an inclusive culture. 

“Fortunately for us, he’s about as tech-savvy as a peanut so we’re all just live streaming on our computers.” 

As the entire office erupted in cheers when Cate Campbell anchored the Australian 4 x 100m freestyle team to claim Gold, Mr Neslon was glad to see everyone so excited about the sale he believed he had just secured.