Following revelations on ABC’s 7.30 regarding the slaughtering of racehorses, horse trader Ned Nugget has quickly minimised disruption to his horse trading business by painting white spots on his stock and passing them off as cows.

“I need to put food on the table and with all these protesters sending me abuse and this hoo-ha around slaughtering horses, I’ve just been dropping them off at the abattoir in the cow paddocks,” said Nugget. 

“The payments keep coming in and I don’t think the end-consumer would know the difference. 

“For a few days, I thought I would have to shut up shop but I guess I’m just the beneficiary of those protesters not knowing the difference between a horse and a cow.” 

Nugget took inspiration for his savvy business move from one of Australia’s infamous horse racing scandals – The Fine Cotton Scandal. 

On that occasion in 1984, conspirators painted the horse Bold Personality to look like the out-of-form Fine Cotton. 

Opening at odds of $34, Fine Cotton was substituted for the freshly painted Bold Personality to win comfortably was plunged into $4.50 before winning effortlessly.