After months of ridiculing China as the source of the “China Virus” and “Kung Flu”, it appeared as if President Donald Trump finally got his comeuppance when tweeting that he and wife Melania tested positive to COVID. However, a White House source has confirmed that Trump’s positive test is in fact to a superior strain of the virus which actually makes him stronger.
Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 2, 2020
The alternative strain to China Virus has been given the code name ‘COVID-US’ and while it looks like COVID-19, tests like COVID-19 and spreads like COVID-19, it actually improves the health of those that test positive by making you resilient, louder and impartial to criticism while fostering economic prosperity.
The source has also suggested that because the strain is homegrown in the United States, the greatest source of its power is bestowed upon White Americans where it will otherwise morph into the deadly China Virus once present in individuals of colour.
When queried as to why President Trump is still entering quarantine despite the excellent economic impact of COVID-US, the source suggested that the virus is so economically prosperous that the President cannot risk China getting their hands on it for themselves.
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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