Category Specific RSS

Categories: Satire

AFL umpires to call play on as long as Jack Ginnivan’s head remains attached to body

AFL players around the country have been undertaking special training drills this week to ensure they do not behead players while tackling, following changes in the game instigated by Collingwood forward Jack Ginnivan. 

As the controversy that has engulfed the league after Ginnivan’s penchant for drawing high tackles drew the ire of the league, questions were raised as to what it would take for Ginnivan to actually get paid a free kick after a headlock tackle went ignored against Essendon on the weekend. 

Collingwood supporters were quick to answer the question that nobody asked them. 

“He could swap places with Brent Staker and the umpire would have called play on,” said 32-year Collingwood member Edward Mcloud in reference to the famous Barry Hall incident. 

An AFL representative later confirmed that play would be stopped in the event Ginnivan was beheaded in a tackle. Rival defenders have spent the week tackling accordingly.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

SKS Technologies Moves to Expand NSW Footprint With Delta Elcom Acquisition

Australia’s data-centre construction sector continues to surge on the back of cloud adoption, AI-driven computing…

1 day ago

Monash University Partners with HITIQ to Advance Concussion Science Using Smart Mouthguards

A major Australian research initiative is set to push forward global understanding of brain injury,…

2 weeks ago

Harris Technology targets return to profitability amid surging Refurbished Tech sales and Apple expansion

Following a successful FY25 which saw a boost in gross profit after launching its refurbished…

3 weeks ago

Pivotal Metals Secures $5.4M to Fast-Track Quebec Drill Program

Pivotal Metals (ASX:PVT) has locked in $5.4 million in fresh funding to accelerate exploration across…

3 weeks ago

Biotron Expands into Anaesthetics with Sedarex Acquisition and $2.5m Raise

Biotech company Biotron Limited (ASX:BIT) has announced a bold step into the anaesthetics sector, acquiring…

1 month ago

DroneShield Boosts Defence Capability with $13 Million Adelaide R&D Investment

DroneShield (ASX:DRO) is expanding its Australian footprint with a $13 million investment to establish a…

1 month ago