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Big Four Banks Commit $25 per $1 million of profit towards Bushfire Fund

As Australian businesses, celebrities and athletes continue an outpouring of support towards bushfire ravaged towns of Australia and the thousands of volunteer firefighters attempting to contain the blazes, Australia’s Big Four banks have jumped on board too. 

Unlike Prime Minister Scott Morrison who used the Bushfire media coverage as a publicity stunt, the Big Four are attempting to curtail damage done to them from the Banking Royal Commission and corporate cover-ups. 

“We saw Nicole Kidman pledge $500k and Ash Barty donate her entire tournament earnings. There was such a big outpouring of support from the public for those generous actions and wanted to get in on the action ourselves,” said Hugh Honey, spokesman for Trust the Big Four Banks Association. 

“Since we made millions from the Australian public for selling dodgy insurance policies and getting caught out for money laundering, these fires give us a chance to give something back to Australian communities.

“So for every $1 million of profit we make this year, we will donate $25 to the Bushfire Fund.”

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

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