Category Specific RSS

Categories: Satire

Boss pleads with AFL for shorter trade period after office productivity plummets

After one of the most action-packed AFL trade periods in recent years, office manager Grumpy Mark has blasted an angry email to the AFL, demanding that the league shorten next year’s trade period after his team’s productivity plummeted across the week. 

From October 3 through to October 12 – coincidentally the start and end dates of the AFL trade period – Mark’s teams generated a total of zero customer leads, and made zero sales. 

When questioning his team on their lack of productivity, they insisted that it was just a quiet week because no one was answering their phones, and prospective leads were lacking engagement which they had been working on. 

“We’ve been making calls but people just aren’t answering their phones,” said sales consultant, Hugh Honey. 

Upon reviewing call logs, Grumpy Mark identified that 200 hours of logged call time were to a number classified as ‘AFL Trade Radio’.

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

Stakk Secures T-Mobile Contract to Power Super App Expansion

Australian fintech Stakk (ASX:SKK) has signed a three-year agreement with U.S. telecommunications giant T-Mobile USA,…

5 days ago

Medibank Backs Emyria with Landmark Depression Care Deal

Australia’s mental health burden is growing – and one of the toughest challenges is treatment-resistant…

2 weeks ago

NoviqTech Launches Quantum Intelligence Products, Opening Path to Enterprise-Grade Quantum AI

NoviqTech Limited (ASX:NVQ) has taken a decisive step into the quantum computing market, unveiling the…

2 weeks ago

BRE Wins Final Permit to Advance Rare Earth Pilot Plant in Brazil

Brazilian Rare Earths Limited (ASX:BRE) has cleared its last regulatory hurdle to begin pilot operations…

1 month ago

Harris Technology eyes profitability as refurbished tech sales surge

In an era of rising living costs and shifting consumer priorities, one Australian company is…

1 month ago

QIC Fund Backs Ark Mines with $4.5m to Accelerate Sandy Mitchell Development

Queensland’s push to strengthen its critical minerals supply chain has taken another step forward, with…

1 month ago