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Boss pleads with AFL for shorter trade period after office productivity plummets

  • In Satire
  • October 14, 2022
  • Elias Pivep
Boss pleads with AFL for shorter trade period after office productivity plummets

After one of the most action-packed AFL trade periods in recent years, office manager Grumpy Mark has blasted an angry email to the AFL, demanding that the league shorten next year’s trade period after his team’s productivity plummeted across the week. 

From October 3 through to October 12 – coincidentally the start and end dates of the AFL trade period – Mark’s teams generated a total of zero customer leads, and made zero sales. 

When questioning his team on their lack of productivity, they insisted that it was just a quiet week because no one was answering their phones, and prospective leads were lacking engagement which they had been working on. 

“We’ve been making calls but people just aren’t answering their phones,” said sales consultant, Hugh Honey. 

Upon reviewing call logs, Grumpy Mark identified that 200 hours of logged call time were to a number classified as ‘AFL Trade Radio’.

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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