Category Specific RSS

Satire

Instamodels flock to Tampa Bay amid Tom Brady divorce rumours

Antonio Brown is ruing his premature retirement from the NFL after his former team’s facility has been inundated with instamodels keen to party with football players. 

The sudden influx of woo-girls has coincidentally come as rumours continue to swell that legendary quarterback Tom Brady and wife Gisele Bündchen are headed for a divorce. 

For the 7-time superbowl winning quarterback, it’s no surprise to be surrounded by attractive young women having famously woo-ed Bundchen when she was a Victoria’s Secret Angel. 

The potential divorce, is believed to stem from Brady’s decision to come out of retirement at the age of 45, just months after retiring. With three kids at home, and the absence of Antonio Brown antics, Brady’s decision to return to football is speculated to be linked by the complete lack of cohesion in the Brady household when Tom called an audible. 

A Tampa Bay Bucs fan in a #12 jersey with the tag still attached, Martina Martinez, offered some insight into her newfound love of football. 

“I’ve always been interested in football and I’m just so much hotter than Gisele, I’m just here in case any of the players want to party or need some additional motivation to win,” she said. 

Before she continued, the Bucs facility quickly lit up in ‘pings’ as all in attendance were hit up in succession. 

“I just got a random message from some guy called AB. Do you know who that is?” 

Elias Pivep

Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.

Recent Posts

AML3D announces stronger FY26, with positive EBITDA reported in the second half

Adelaide-based metal printing group books record $12.5 million revenue and a record $78 million sales…

3 days ago

Refurbished tech gives Harris Technology a second life

Harris Technology has found a higher-margin growth engine in an unlikely place: the market for…

4 days ago

Imagion Biosystems Advances MagSense® Phase 2 Trial

Imagion Biosystems (ASX: IBX) is moving its MagSense® HER2 Imaging Agent Phase 1b/2 clinical trial…

1 week ago

Acrux-developed Menopause Hormone Therapy to enter Australian market

Acrux (ASX:ACR) is set to bring its transdermal Estradiol spray Lenzetto® to the Australian market…

3 months ago

Evion Expands Critical Minerals Push with Nevada Fluorspar Option

The race to secure Western-aligned critical minerals supply chains is accelerating as governments and industry…

4 months ago

Green360 Secures Holcim as First Commercial Eco-Clay Customer in Major Validation Milestone

Green360 Technologies (ASX:GT3) has taken a major step forward in the commercialisation of its low-carbon…

4 months ago