Melbournian zooming around in semi-automatic signals the return of F1

For three years, residents of Albert Park have been able to enjoy the tranquility of urban lifestyle in peace but that has been put on hold this week as Melbournians have been cruising around, revving their engines and switching their humble Prius into semi-automatic mode. 

That can only mean one thing – the return of F1 to Melbourne.  

Not even sky high petrol prices have been able to subdue the revheads who for 1 weekend of the year are expert F1 analysts, confidently declaring the Australian Grand Prix is <insert pole position driver’s name> to lose. 

For self-proclaimed F1 enthusiast, it’s the perfect time for Vic Vinegar to show the rest of Melbourne how good of a driver he woulda been at F1 level if he’d been afforded the same opportunities as Max Verstappen. 

“I’ve always been a bit of a revhead,” said Vinegar. 

“I couldn’t afford any of the muscle cars or the Japanese sports cars but my Prius does everything those other fast cars can do.” 

“All I need to do is flick it into semi-automatic mode, work through the gears and really get the engine revving. 

“Flooring it up Lakeside Drive, I can get from 0 to 60 in about six seconds. It’s just a shame that no one wants to race for slips any more.” 

The Australian Grand Prix makes it’s triumphant return to Albert Park this week after a 2-year hiatus after the race was twice called off due to COVID-19 concerns. 

When queried who he thought would be the most clutch driver this season, Vinegar responded, “What’s a clutch?”.