White man threatens not to watch NBA Finals until Rachel Nichols returns

Racism in the United States is on tenterhooks as old white men threaten ESPN not to watch the NBA Finals until their beloved host Rachel Nichols returns to their screens following allegations she was benched from the Finals for her pale complexion. 

The threat came following a leaked video of the sportscaster ranting to a friend about how she was not cast for the Finals, an expected role for someone of her stature, due to the darker complexion of college Maria Taylor. 

In the event of rich white men across America turning off their TVs electing not to watch the hugely anticipated 7 Game series between Milwaukee and Phoenix, it could implode the American media landscape. For Tennessee resident Vic Vinegar, he hopes his voice is heard and Nichols is given a fair opportunity to broadcast from the sidelines. 

“I ain’t watchin’ no ball till they bring back that white girl,” said Vinegar. 

“I am sick and tired of white girls being oppressed and shunned by casting directors. They deserve the same opportunities as all Americans.” 

Vinegar, the owner of a Chattanooga caravan park further threatened that he and his mates would not watch the games as a threat to Disney Corporation (NYSE: DIS) to highlight the power his community has on the ratings-driven industry. 

Despite Vinegar’s threats, Game 1 of the series set new broadcast records with Disney shares closing the next day in the green.