One of the proudest Melbournians in the city he still rates as the world’s most livable, office manager Hugh Honey is livid that fresh lockdowns will force him to revert back to working from home, an experience he deemed a nightmare last time this happened.
The Essendon resident loves waking up at 6.00am to ensure he can make it to the train station by 7.30am to secure a car park before jamming into the overstuffed carriage as part of his morning routine. While some of his neighbours despise the experience, Honey describes the tight-nit trip with fellow commuters breathing down his neck as “the most action I get all day.”
A long-time CBD worker, Honey has come to enjoy many of the nuances Melbourne has to offer as part of the commute.
“Every morning I play a game with my Myki card to see how close to the scanner I can tap off, without making contact with it. Sometimes it creates a bit of a line behind me but it’s good fun when you can appreciate the responsiveness of those scanners,” said Honey.
“The real fun comes at lunch time when I can get a sandwich for as little as $15.
“The trip home is just as fun with Melbourne’s weather fluctuating so much. It’s like a bag of lollies – you never know what you’re going to get. It’s why only psychopaths buy those packets with just one lolly in them.”
“Melbourne’s public transport is also really uniquely built in that any weather conditions slightly wet or hot will bring the system to a halt, and that is just such an engineering marvel.”
With Melbourne introducing a 7-day lockdown in response to escalating COVID cases, Honey has been asked to work-from-home next week. Under such an ordeal, he will be forced to wake up at 6am and sit around for three hours doing nothing in the uncomfortably warm setting before clocking on at 9am without getting any of his daily “action”.
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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