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Record number of NRL players shave head to become more aerodynamic

  • In Satire
  • August 18, 2022
  • Elias Pivep
Record number of NRL players shave head to become more aerodynamic

A bevy of NRL players have rocked up to training this week after shaving their heads in a bid to improve their speed by becoming more aerodynamic. The move is believed to be linked to a sport scientist identifying a correlation between speed and on-field success, prompting many to take all measures possible to improve their speed. 

The groundbreaking discovery has quickly spread across the league, despite no player having actually met the scientist behind the trend. 

“Yeah, the coaches just told us to all shave our heads to make us faster,” said a NRL winger who requested not to be named. 

“We see the swimmers and sprinters do it, so it made sense that we’d do it in rugby.”

When queried about their understanding of hair testing for illicit drugs, the unnamed player was unaware any such test existed. 

The league-wide trend followed a controversial week where two players were caught fully clothed in a toilet cubicle, which entirely by coincidence took place before suggestions were made for the NRL to review its illicit drug policy. 

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Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022

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  • About
  • Latest Posts
Elias Pivep
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
Latest posts by Elias Pivep (see all)
  • Family shocked at how much money they saved by not buying useless Christmas presents - January 2, 2023
  • Annoying coworker goes quiet after ATAR results reveal their son is an idiot - December 15, 2022
  • World Cup fan too tired to get kids ready for school - December 8, 2022
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