In what may be the first of two pitch invasions this week, Sydney-siders have celebrated the rare achievement of reaching 1,000 daily COVID cases by storming Gladys Berejiklian’s office to give her a pat on the back.
The office invasion, a first in Australian history for the feat achieved, comes with the Premier today confirming 1,029 new cases in New South Wales. A record daily number in Australia since the pandemic commenced, Bondi resident Vic Vinegar was happily taking photos of himself at the office to commemorate the occasion unlikely to be seen again in his lifetime.
“I’m so privileged to have lived through Gladys’ reign because we’re never going to see a leader like her again,” said Vinegar.
“All those hours of cabinet planning and consultation with health experts has paid off. Once again, we’ve shown our superiority to Victoria by hitting this monumental milestone first.”
Immediately after today’s office invasion, Vinegar will be boarding a chartered flight to Tasmania with other Sydney residents that stormed Gladys’ office. The large group of unvaccinated Sydney-siders will hope to replicate the close contact invasion on Saturday in Launceston when the Sydney Swans take on the GWS Giants in the AFL Elimination Final.
With Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin currently on 992 career goals, the possibility of him following in Gladys’ footsteps outweighs the risk of spreading COVID to the Apple Isle according to Vinegar.
Failed stand-up comic who now gets his kicks from Simpsons business memes.
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